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OUT OF CONTXTUALS

ALEX:
I knew you were into that you sick fuck hahaha
Probably the latter, unless jelly beans can drunk you up

BRI:
Thanks now go have fun with your man-friend.

MALLORY
:
Rub against dans crotch

JOE:
Then you should be naked. Red equals naked.
I'm going to get that ass tomorrow

RAYE:
Happy left overs day!

KEVIN:
Hail satan

CJ:
I got hit on by a gay guy when I left you

SEAN:
If u read and understood shope then u should've been in class today suffering

MIKE:
Occupational hazard.

AJ:
Well lemme finish eating and skinning this vampire.
We can in from there eh ha predictive text fail!

JUDAH:
Tempting but it's hard to torch a village in the rain.
My geeky lover / just one breath of your name / and I ache for you.

GI:
OMFG i always knew he had a heart of gold!
Aw omg! Wait u see a dead squirrel and ur 1st thought is to show me.

JUSTIN:
Awww, I wish I could be there to sweep you off your feet and make a grand escape from all the sad boys and girls in too much makeup.
YES! Just thinking about it makes my uber-nerd side get all hot and bothered.

DAN:
I has hoagie.
Yay! I shall grope you upon arrival.
The square root of 0.3 is some horrendously long decimal starting with .5477.

ED:
Is your magical prescription medicine taking care of your cold sores of doom?
Crazy like 'look at all the half-naked gay guys in halloween drag'!
Next goal: a 14yo thai prostitute!
Obamanation!!! Lol
Awe you're sexy no matter what. I'm sure you're rockin that cold sore in a hawt way. Lol

ANGIE:
I have a disquieting suggestion, please call me
Where is my favorite motherucka? I just called
Ah! Si senorita. Guess I'll go check Myspace nzow, does it have a naked pic of Brad Pitt?
Lo freakin L at your comment!!!
My dearest Mookie, my house phone is being used but I wanted to say good night!
"Do you have plastic vegetables and a naked baby?"
Lol we'll dance the cold away
Don't be, it's cold as Antartica out there. I wouldn't survive.
Yaysies, you rock like granite.
Probably not. They'll put stuff we never read lol. "How does Elmo's World relate to Fukuyama's piece?"
Lol maybe he didn't get it. MAYBE the Honors Ghost ate him. Or Spear!
Do you have a naked baby and plastic vegetables? Lol!!!
Chocolate rain.


PICKLES:
Lol, I'm all outta Barry White, we'll have to settle for some Isaac Hayes instead
So... I have to ask. Why were you sleeping with a red marker?
You can still bring your ass even if it's not attached, can't you?
No, just the Xand, the WHOLE Xand, and nothing but the Xand.
Aah! Damn you Septa! Damn you work! Maybe next time, ed?
Sooo...when are you and your cool hip friends showing up?
On that note I'm going to sleep before I die of a Loki-bikini induced seizure. g'night.
Happy Turkey Day! Make sure to save me some breasts and thighs for tomorrow.
Ok please tell me that you are coming up today b/c I'm getting ready to wring my brother's neck and we haven't even left the house yet!


MOM:
I am freezing my ass off.
You have been a real party animal recently you better be keeping your grades up
Don't eat anymore banquet pot pies they may be contaminated with salmonella. recall coming

MEATHEAD:
I just aw-ed out loud. I'm thankful for you too my love.
It's way too hardcore for me.
Ah the good old days of spray can hair dye, stuffed crust pizza, and headbanging in the hallway.
Hey samwise. I miss that hot ass
Don't you leave me Samwise Gamgee.
Of course master jedi
Does watching a show about fat people while eating Hershey kisses make me a bad person?
With plenty of porn filled drunken intervals followed by copious amounts of sex.
You are my soulmate Alexandria Courtney Griffin.
Kiss. I miss you. Continue your woodys fun.
I love you. A lot.
Ah Xands got the herp!

 


 


Meat: I think people do drugs because they didn't read enough as a child.
Xand: If by not reading enough you mean they stunted their imagination and therefore retarded their capability for entertaining themselves and appreciating life in an unaltered state, then yes. I agree.
Meat: That's exactly what I was getting at actually. God, you're perfect.
Xand: Not perfect. Pretty damn close though.

Soul Calibur. Nerdiness. with Hentai!

[23:00] Doctor Dorkson: http://orz.4chan.org/d/src/1227054543816.jpg
[23:00] Doctor Dorkson: it reminds me of the funk
[23:01] SirAileron13: great big ball o' titties.
[23:06] Doctor Dorkson: every guy's dream
[23:07] SirAileron13: I dunno, sounds like it'd be hard for a big ball o' titties to play Soul Calibur with me.
[23:08] Doctor Dorkson: it'd be the living incarnation of taki

And The Fork Rammed Away at the Spoon

SirAileron13 (12:00:10 AM): Is that a suggestion?
SirAileron13 (12:00:28 AM): Or rather, a request?
SirAileron13 (12:00:59 AM): *turns into a spoon*
SirAileron13 (12:01:05 AM): Eat your breakfast with me. D:
Doctor Dorkson (12:01:17 AM): HAHAHA OH GODS
Doctor Dorkson (12:01:19 AM): I pictured it!
Doctor Dorkson (12:01:22 AM): HAHAHA
Doctor Dorkson (12:01:39 AM): You'd like that too much.
SirAileron13 (12:01:45 AM): Yes.
SirAileron13 (12:01:47 AM): Yes I would.
SirAileron13 (12:01:51 AM): Mouthage and all.
Doctor Dorkson (12:01:47 AM): I'm just going to keep you in the drawer.
SirAileron13 (12:02:15 AM): So I can make spoon-babies?
SirAileron13 (12:02:42 AM): What, can't go out and buy silverware?
SirAileron13 (12:02:48 AM): Or am I just too precious?
Doctor Dorkson (12:02:53 AM): But there's only forks in there.
SirAileron13 (12:02:59 AM): ooooohhhh
SirAileron13 (12:03:00 AM): So
SirAileron13 (12:03:04 AM): it's a biology lab.
SirAileron13 (12:03:13 AM): You're trying to determine the origin of sporks!
Doctor Dorkson (12:03:23 AM): yes.
Doctor Dorkson (12:03:27 AM): exactly.
Doctor Dorkson (12:03:29 AM): You get me.
SirAileron13 (12:03:34 AM): Then I shall produce a fine specimen for you.
SirAileron13 (12:04:08 AM): And then you can sell the consequent silverware porn for loads of money on the alternative pornography market.
Doctor Dorkson (12:05:14 AM): It will be called: Cum Into my Drawers
SirAileron13 (12:05:23 AM): Oh.
SirAileron13 (12:05:25 AM): My.
SirAileron13 (12:05:26 AM): God.
SirAileron13 (12:05:42 AM): I bow to you now.

Halloween Updates

Had to take the fog out of most of the photos! Enjoy.




Dan, me, Luigi, Crystal, blank, Mallory - Yeah, we're bad-ass.


Jerry, Crystal, blank, Mallory, me


Malika, Jerry, Mallory, blank, blank, blank, Luigi, Sir Marqus, Lauren, Hannibal, me, Carl, Dan, Doug


Mallory, Luigi, Crystal, me



Legendary.

SirAileron13 (12:21:38 AM): I must pounce!
Doctor Dorkson (12:23:10 AM): not the secret pounce attack of doom! I am defenseless! What is a poor girl to do
SirAileron13 (12:23:53 AM): Embrace the fun!
Doctor Dorkson (12:24:57 AM): No I must not... but my will is weak... hugs... like kryptonite.. I hath succumbed
SirAileron13 (12:25:58 AM): hee hee. :3
SirAileron13 (12:26:17 AM): the Dan is victorious!
SirAileron13 (12:26:20 AM): though
SirAileron13 (12:26:33 AM): the Xander is also victorious.
SirAileron13 (12:26:51 AM): Wait..! This must be...!
SirAileron13 (12:26:55 AM): The legendary win-win!
Doctor Dorkson (12:27:28 AM): *LE GASP*
Doctor Dorkson (12:27:35 AM): But that comes about only in fables!
SirAileron13 (12:27:59 AM): Then we have surpassed the realm of mere mortals, and transcended into the realm of heroes.
SirAileron13 (12:28:11 AM): The faerie tale books speak of us.
Doctor Dorkson (12:30:57 AM): They will sing songs of the heroic Dan and Xand. And the songs will be sung to the little ones when we have been long gone.
SirAileron13 (12:31:31 AM): But as such we will never disappear, our legend immortal and everlasting against the test of time.
Doctor Dorkson (12:36:04 AM): What shall we do now, old friend? Retire to our homesteads, recount deeds of days past from time to time, and bask in the glory of the win-win?
SirAileron13 (12:38:06 AM): Absolutely. Great victories must be honored, after all.

Best. Halloween. Ever.


Class got canceled on Thursday morning, so I got a chance to hang out with this chick named Eva for a bit. She's totally undercover punk; she dresses very in a very beautiful conservative style at school, but she punks out at shows. She has this whole mysterious layer to her that's really interesting.

Anyway, her mom drove me home, and I'm so glad I made it out of her car alive. Her mom drives like a maniac! Later on that night, I got a chance to hang with Alex at South Street. We were on the hunt for the following items: Frilly shirt, leather pants, "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, and blonde temporary hair color spray. Guess what he was for Halloween?

Yeah. He was Fabio. Yeah, he's awesome. We only ended up getting a white shirt, butter, and hair color, but he rocked it out on Halloween!

Afterwards I headed to the Flobots/Matisyahu concert with Ed. Which was fantastic! Spent the whole night grooving and dancing. Got yelled out by the guy in front of me... sorry dude, thought you were enjoying a hot girl accidently brushing up against you. Looks like that was the only action you were getting since your girlfriend looked like a prude. Ack, I'm so juvenile. Ed is most likely going to be my Suicide Girl photographer, yay!

Stayed out late, till 3:30amish and woke up the next morning at 9:30. I donned my pirate costume and headed off to school. I was the only person in costume until I headed to the Anime Club office where they  were playing Smash Bros and I saw Shaun of the Dead. Yeah this chick dressed as Shaun of the Dead. I was one of two people who knew who she was. Played vidja games (slang stolen from Dan) with some peeps for a while then headed to Anime Club and watched anime for hours. When we went to get pizza I got to see Angie for a couple minutes, which was nice. I miss her.

Then around 6:30ish the CCP Halloween Party starts. Apparently the Anime Club crowd loves me, and I hath been shanghaied into the group, quite willingly. Met Lauren, Carl, Dan, Mallory, Hannibal, Joesph, Luigi, Ambar (sp?), and others that I can't recall names right now. Found out this kid Felix is into fire-spinning which is fucking awesome. Some very large chick tried to dance with me and it was just too much flesh touching me. It was awkward and weird.

Some highlights include: Hot zombie schoolgirl with corset. Dan humped many a person and a thing. Dog-piles. Glowsticks. Awesome costumes: i.e. Rayman. Fog machines. Oreo sandwiches. Grindlines. Wobbly Xander sword. Hug-piles. Luigi's dancing. Time warping. Being included in a group.

After the party, we walked towards Drexel so I could meet Alex and go to my first college party. The trip there was filled with singing, random things finding, and awesomeness. Really, these people are the shit. I cannot explain the awesomeness that was this fellowship of people was while we were journeying towards Drexel. We sung old-school songs for chris's sake. Yes, that was an intentional misspelling. The Sailor Moon, Digimon, and Pokemon theme songs were just a few of the many sung. Even had a straight chick tell me she'd go bi for me. Score! Also had to heal Dan's eyes from their unexpected rape of seeing some person's plumber crack. A peek down my shirt and he's cured. My breasts have cleansing and curative powers. woot woot. I can be the female Jesus.

Afterwards it was my first college party. Which was not what I expected. I pictured people acting drunk and crazy and dancing and hookups and a tremendous amount of fun. Met some of Alex's friends, which was cool. Saw people playing beer pong. Fuck that, I want to play vodka pong! Beer...gah. Created a terrible version of a kamikaze, that had my ass swaying by the time I was halfway done. Anyways had my first taste of Jungle Juice at the second party we went to. Saw Alex rave. Got hit on by a zombie while sitting on a couch. I think zombies just have a thing for me. Either that or they have a thing for pirates. And... drama about plants. Makes me laugh just thinking about it. I hate being drunk to the point of rambling and swaying and forgetting conversations. When I'm that way I think all of my crappy jokes are hilarious.

Woke up and got to hang out with my friend Meha the next day. We got tested for HIV just to be on the safe side (negative woot woot) and then just wandered aimlessly around the city. Had veggie pizza and I tipped the pizza guys $2. Because I remember getting crappy tips when I worked at a pizza store. We ended up sitting in the middle of the city. Literally, that part in city hall that is open air with the circle thing. I laid my head in her lap and looked at the sky and tried to forget that someone might've thought it would have been an awesome idea to pee in the middle of the city. We were laughing so hard a bicycle cop asked me if I needed an ambulance. We looked so homeless a kid threw a dime at us and did a dance of doom.

This is completely unfinished, but it's enough for now.


My Badness in Math

Doctor Dorkson (1:52:57 AM): what is 99% of 11gbs?
Doctor Dorkson (1:53:02 AM): 10gbs?
NordicFortune (1:53:19 AM): what the hell is gbs?
Doctor Dorkson (1:53:25 AM): .........hahahahaha
NordicFortune (1:53:27 AM): great britain...shies?
Doctor Dorkson (1:53:31 AM): Gigabytes!!!!
NordicFortune (1:53:34 AM): ohh duh
NordicFortune (1:53:36 AM): holy shit
NordicFortune (1:53:37 AM): wow
Doctor Dorkson (1:53:39 AM): ROFL ROFL
NordicFortune (1:53:54 AM): it's 100 MB i think
NordicFortune (1:54:00 AM): if 90% is 1 gb
NordicFortune (1:54:12 AM): then 99 has to be 100 MB
Doctor Dorkson (1:55:09 AM): ok.
Doctor Dorkson (1:55:26 AM): see. I'm bad at math. Even you breaking it down
Doctor Dorkson (1:55:31 AM): I'm still like...
Doctor Dorkson (1:55:37 AM): *brain explodes*
NordicFortune (1:55:41 AM): haha try this
NordicFortune (1:55:53 AM): 10*0.99
NordicFortune (1:56:01 AM): then subtract that total from 10
NordicFortune (1:56:21 AM): you'll get .1
Doctor Dorkson (1:56:26 AM): OH GODS
Doctor Dorkson (1:56:28 AM): MATH
Doctor Dorkson (1:56:30 AM): IT BURNS
NordicFortune (1:56:34 AM): .1 of a gigabite, being 1 tenth, is 100 mb
NordicFortune (1:56:35 AM): hahahaha
Doctor Dorkson (1:56:41 AM): I'm melting.
Doctor Dorkson (1:56:44 AM): Mellltttiiiing
Doctor Dorkson (1:56:47 AM): Mellting
Doctor Dorkson (1:56:53 AM): melting
NordicFortune (1:56:55 AM): haha aww *licks your molten body*
NordicFortune (1:56:58 AM): mm
NordicFortune (1:57:05 AM): Xandsickle
NordicFortune (1:57:08 AM): yummy!

Dan da Man

SirAileron13 (12:26:59 AM): Yes.
SirAileron13 (12:27:08 AM): Very yes.
Doctor Dorkson (12:28:05 AM): Yes you are?
SirAileron13 (12:28:14 AM): I am indeed.
Doctor Dorkson (12:28:51 AM): Am I?
SirAileron13 (12:29:01 AM): hmm..
SirAileron13 (12:29:23 AM): the answer to that would have to be an everwhelming Yes.
SirAileron13 (12:29:35 AM): overwhelming*
Doctor Dorkson (12:29:50 AM): Is that then?
SirAileron13 (12:30:32 AM): Aye, 'tis so.
Doctor Dorkson (12:31:55 AM): Then it shall be.
Doctor Dorkson (12:32:13 AM): So
SirAileron13 (12:32:21 AM): What an awesome conversation.
Doctor Dorkson (12:32:36 AM): We're just cool like that.
SirAileron13 (12:35:24 AM): Thank goodness, there are so many boring people.
Doctor Dorkson (12:35:57 AM): Boring people are the bane of my existence.
SirAileron13 (12:38:06 AM): That is why I hump men. The interesting people aren't as horrified.
SirAileron13 (12:39:30 AM): It really quickens the process of figuring out a person's character. :D


SirAileron13 (12:40:32 AM): Greatness. XD
Doctor Dorkson (12:45:41 AM): aren't words some much better when you add ness or age to them?
Doctor Dorkson (12:45:54 AM): Awesome-NESS. Boob-AGE
SirAileron13 (12:46:19 AM): Absolutely.
SirAileron13 (12:46:19 AM): But
SirAileron13 (12:46:22 AM): Boobage is always great.
Doctor Dorkson (12:47:29 AM): I concur.
Doctor Dorkson (12:47:35 AM): enthusiastically

AIM Insults

NordicFortune (12:50:07 AM): yeah logos are neat
Doctor Dorkson (12:51:03 AM): your mom's near
Doctor Dorkson (12:51:08 AM): neat*
Doctor Dorkson (12:51:13 AM): dammit.. fail
NordicFortune (12:51:24 AM): haha your FACE is neat!
Doctor Dorkson (12:51:36 AM): your mom likes my face
NordicFortune (12:51:51 AM): your face likes my mom!
Doctor Dorkson (12:52:06 AM): yeah, because she doesn't charge much
NordicFortune (12:53:57 AM): yeah she don't need to she tell you to close your eyes and gets the dog to lick you :p
Doctor Dorkson (12:55:34 AM): At least the dog does it better then you >=D
NordicFortune (12:55:43 AM): Ouch!
NordicFortune (12:55:47 AM): oh no you didn't!
Doctor Dorkson (12:55:52 AM): BURRRRNNN
Doctor Dorkson (12:55:55 AM): hahaha
Doctor Dorkson (12:55:57 AM): ROFL
NordicFortune (12:56:10 AM): cause dogs love the smell of ass!
NordicFortune (12:56:12 AM): HAAAAAAAAAAAAA
NordicFortune (12:56:15 AM): hahha
Doctor Dorkson (12:56:22 AM): HAHA
Doctor Dorkson (12:57:20 AM): you must love the smell of ass too then, since you've licked me too
NordicFortune (12:57:40 AM): my nose was congested ^.^
Doctor Dorkson (12:59:04 AM): Is that why you were talking funny? I thought you might've had down's syndrome
NordicFortune (12:59:22 AM): hahahahahaa
NordicFortune (1:00:19 AM): nah I was slowing down so you could keep up with me, do you understand? want me to repeat?
Doctor Dorkson (1:03:03 AM): hah
Doctor Dorkson (1:03:23 AM): Huh? What was that? I'm sorry, you need to keep repeating cause I'm getting distracted by your mom again
NordicFortune (1:04:27 AM): like what you see? yeah that's what you call a human female. maybe you should try looking like one too this way you'll get to wander out of your cage :p
Doctor Dorkson (1:04:50 AM): OH snap!
Doctor Dorkson (1:05:08 AM): Chimp fucker.
NordicFortune (1:06:02 AM): goat sodomizer
Doctor Dorkson (1:06:15 AM): chicken bonker
NordicFortune (1:07:02 AM): wank stain
Doctor Dorkson (1:08:07 AM): Cum slut.
NordicFortune (1:08:27 AM): jizz dumpster
Doctor Dorkson (1:09:30 AM): Anal leakage.
NordicFortune (1:10:08 AM): diarrhea encrusted vaginal discharge
Doctor Dorkson (1:12:04 AM): Mouth yeast infection. Mmm, cottage cheese.
NordicFortune (1:12:14 AM): LOL

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